If First You Don’t Succeed...

just go home.

My wife, Adriana, has an umbrella phrase that she uses to describe feeling brain fog, lethargy, apathy, malaise, or really anything that lowers her baseline. She says, “I’m feeling funky today.”

I was feeling funky last week.

So, when I saw a note on Substack advertising a reading from four writers happening less than 10 minutes away from me, I took it as an opportunity to get out of my own head. I thought to myself, let me go support these fellow Substackers. This is the perfect thing for this evening.

I pulled up around 6:30 pm and the area was flooded with people and cars. This was overwhelming because I frequent this very same area every morning when I rollerblade the LA river path, and at that hour it is tranquil and empty, usually blanketed in a bluish morning hue. Now, I could not find a parking spot, my AC was not working, and the sun was relentlessly beating down on me despite it being so late in the day.

I should’ve just asked Adriana to come with me, but she was exhausted and I could tell she didn’t want to go, even if she kept offering. She was feeling funky too.

I finally found a spot behind a blue Dodge Charger. A couple was exiting, and the woman seemed frazzled. The gentleman accompanying her seemed to be either trying to find things for her, or gathering things for her, or putting things away for her. I couldn’t figure it out and it was none of my business, but just as I was about to get out of my car, the woman turned toward me and I recognized her immediately as the one and only Juliette Lewis.

Yes, I know I live in Los Angeles and it’s very common and they’re people just like us and I have met them before and even toured with a movie star, so it shouldn’t be a big deal. But Juliette Lewis has played a lot of roles in a hell of a lot of films I love, and she continues to do so (her part in 2020’s “I Know This Much Is True” was one of my favorite performances of her career). So, a bit of panic set in when I questioned if she was going to be at this thing too.

I pictured a bookstore because that’s where book readings take place. But I was familiar with the area, which is all warehouse spaces, and if there was a bookstore there, I’d have known about it, so there was absolutely no reason I should’ve pictured a bookstore.

I approached the address and found a group of 10-12 well dressed people, many with drinks in hand, all talking with one another in front of a warehouse entrance. About half of them turned and looked toward me, and I’m 85% positive one of those people was Bill Pullman. Yes, Independence Day-Lost Highway Bill Pullman.

So, in that moment, my brain recognized that there would be no bookcases to hide behind, no corners to slink into, and no literature to pick up and make believe I was reading. I was just going to have to muster the social courage to walk into this thing where I knew no one and Juliette Lewis may or may not be standing right behind me now.

I looked away from the group and walked a few steps past the gathering, acting like I was looking for someplace else, then called Adriana.

“I can’t do it, I’m coming home. Bill Pullman and Juliette Lewis are here and everyone knows each other and they’re looking at me and if I go in, I’m not going to know what to do with my hands.”

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THE RECORD CLUB

Last week’s selection was The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds (1966)

You can find my ramblings on last week’s record in the comment section below.

This week’s selection is…

Week #4
Dolly Parton - Coat Of Many Colors (1971)