My best friend, Sean, loves Lil Wayne. Always has. He’s used him as a paragon at various times throughout my music-making career, as a means of encouraging me. “Wayne just put stuff out. He’d put out a 30-song mixtape. Hes not precious. That’s what you need to do.”
My somewhat slow output is not rooted in self-importance or perfectionism. It’s not the result of me attempting to craft a masterpiece. In fact, often times I’ll steer closer to the demo the further I get down the line.
I once heard one of my favorite songwriters, Aldous Harding, describe the process in one word — balance. When the interviewer asked how she knew something was done, she lifted both hands up to mimic the image of a scale and described how every decision made was in the effort of balance, and when the scales were finally even, she knew it was done. I understood that. I don’t know if Lil Wayne is doing that, but God bless him if he is, considering he has 1,500 plus releases to his name.
It’s a delicate dance — working on music until you’re satisfied with it or sitting on it for too long. I’ve been guilty of the latter but have also seen songs blossom over the course of years, feeling as if I eventually gained the skills or clarity to crack the code on something that had been off with an arrangement or a production. I’m sitting on one now. I played it at some shows last year, and I enjoyed sharing it, but the production isn’t right. The scales are uneven.
The song I share with you today is another one from the unreleased violent joy LP, and I realized as I uploaded the audio file that I’d initially shared the demo for this song a little over a year ago. So, now you get to be the judge. You get to determine if I should’ve just pulled a Lil Wayne and called it done the first go, or if the years where it sat and mutated into something far more layered were worth it.
Ultimately, neither of these versions actually saw an official release. So, when Sean reads this, he’s going to tell me he’s right regardless. He probably is.
I’ll include both versions below for easy comparison, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Waiting On What’s In Front Of You (unreleased violent joy)
(Paid subscribers can listen below)
Written/produced by violent joy in studios in NY and CA Mixed/mastered by Warren Trunz